Liverpool players, and officials were shocked when Brazilian international Lucas Levia, broke down halfway through training at Melwood, and admitted he was a hobbit.After attempting to clear the ball on three occassions and hitting air instead, the minute Brazilian was heard to scream " I can't keep this up anymore!" Levia then removed the full body mask he has been wearing as a disguise since he arrived at Anfield, to reveal his true identitiy.
The four foot one hairy hobbit with feet longer than Steven Gerrard's arm span, said he had come up with the disguise after seeing Liverpool win the Champions league in 2005.As Lucas got all the players and management to sit under a huge tree just to one side of the Melwood complex, he told them the story
"Once upon a time I saw that Istanbul final and was inspired like never before I wanted to play for Liverpool.....i got my mate Frodo to conjure up a human size skin suit with this magic ring he had. I then climbed into it and pretended I was a Brazilian footballer."
The Liverpool boss Rafael "archer" Benitez admitted to being shocked by the revelation. " I have to admit I am shocked by the revelation." he told waiting journalists, an elf, a dwarf and an orc.the Liverpool skipper Steven Archithon Gerrard son of Fred the fish and chip king of Lower Anfield admitted he always had his doubts about young, tiny, almost impossible to see Lucas.
"I remember his first day at training. He kept falling over his feet, ran very slowly and had no coordination..he also wore two left feet footy boots. I became suspicious when he played the same way in matches"Club Chief executive Grandadelf Parry said Lucas would be immediately transferred to Middle Earth club Smallchester City......the fee is expected to be tiny...

After all,there was no 'miracle' in Istanbul,there was just a man inspiring other men to victory,a man with whom..' You'll never walk alone '
"I wouldn't walk away. I'd fight to put it right next year because I'm not a quitter" - Daniel Agger